祸不单行

Bad stuff always do not occur by itself.... i truly understand the meaning of 祸不单行.
Just Friday, i felt a big spang of guilt.
Guess wad... today my PC crashed.... it totally died on me. IT ppl couldn't save any info at all. My mood was totally down... felt like shit. Why muz it happen to me. All my hardwork in that hard disk. T.T
I really wonder if this omen is hinting to me that this job doesn't suit me at all. It's not the right one for me. I know that my mum will say, having a job is better than nothing. Dun be so picky. At least i'm earning something. Other ppl also work like this even if they dun like their job. But this is only the starting of my career... i dun wanna get stuck here forever. I know my colleagues are nice... my manager is willing to guide me. On the other hand, because i'm the newest and the most lowly charged employee, everyone wants to give me jobs. NO TRAINING PROVIDED... I'M LEARNING ON THE JOB... HELL DUN EXPECT SO MUCH FROM ME !
I wanna find my own niche. Something which i truly will enjoy... 80% of my time in life will be spent on work. Shouldn't i do something i like ?? I so wanna get outta here !!! My life is in a mess. If only i never ever stepped into accountacy....
My dad does encourage me to go learn more stuff. But i am so tired everyday... the night is so short. What part-time course can i take ??? I love money yet i hate finance....... arrghhzzzzzzz
Oh God... please lead the way !!!! I am stuck at a dead end road for now.

Reflection

My adeventures, fear and guilt.... plz dun ask for more elaborations.... i just nid to write to get it out of my chest.

Wednesday, i suddenly was called upon to go to a client's place ALONE. So unexpected. Totally not prepared... feeling like a total idiot. Was given instructions for only abt 10-15mins and i was expected to go. It was a long journey...i was told to take a train to yishun -.-''' Then take a cab to the industrial area. Was told the job wouldn't take me more than 2 hrs. I reached slightly after 4. Didn't have much time. Some glitches along hte way. I had to photocopy a lot of stuff. But wasn't given permission immediately. And when i could copy them, OMG to my horror... the machine had no feeder and i had to manually scan page by page. 4 sets of financial statements, 6 sets tax returns etc... goshh... took me so damn long. Anyway, i had some qns to ask. I juz read them on the train but didn't really understand everything. The client's representative was juz as blur as i was. And i believed she wanted to see me go soon. I reckon she was busy by the no. of phone calls she had. Didn't want to entertain me. By 6pm, i sensed they were packing up to go home. So i quickly gathered my stuff. And off i went. Was told i could get a cab easily. BUT FUCK.... no.... i waited 15 mins and no cabbie wanted to take me. I was gonna be late for guitar if i waited any longer. It was an even longer walk out to find a cab. Took me 15-20mins to get outta the main road. WTF !!!!!

Thursday... had a very "memorable" conversation with this IRAS officer. She made me sooo fearful of her. She wanted info for a letter written by us in 2004 and she wanted immediate reply. WTF... i was told to tell her, client on leave and i didn't have what she wanted in our file records. She replied in a very rude manner " How come take so long to reply. HUH... u haven gotten any info? How come u dun know when the client is back. i want to know when. The whole office only got 1 person working izzit? Nobody else know anything ? I want to settle the issue and i'm sure ur client wants it settled quickly too. etc..." Hell.... now is 2006. My client would have liked it to be settled 2 yrs ago!

Friday... i think i made a mistake. But i have thought over it. I am not gonna say anything. I feel the guilt. To me, it's a big blunder. I admit it. But only to myself. I believe it won't do me any good if i say it out. It will always be a reminder to myself to be more careful. I believe it can be rectified somehow. But there may be ppl who might be unhappy. I do not wan to jeopardise my position. I will think over it again. But for the mean time, it's a guilty me.

On a happy note.... we've got a new addition to our family! My little nephew was borned on V-day. ^.^ He's really tiny and cute !! I carried him when he was 2 days old. Babies are so adorable. But not when they start getting soooooooo inquisitive .... juz like his sisters...

I realised that the gym is a very good avenue to de-stress. It makes me not think of anything. Just concentrating on my music and exercise... I love that feeling...

I wanna go overseas to study someday!!!

Random

My way of relaxation....watching and blasting concerts on the tv or comp....
Cousin SY juz came back from her holiday in HK....brought me 2 DVDs i've been looking forward to: Joey and Jeff Live Music and The Grasshoppers "We" Concert 2005. Geezzz i haven't been to HK for a long long long time.... i yearn to go again !!

Work has been qutie tiring esp having to do admin work as well. And the stupid copier machines has to breakdown. Now the managers, every 2 pages also ask me walk all the out to zap. -.-''' I'm suffering from mild backache !!!! The time i spent at home is sooo short !! The nights are getting shorter and shorter !!! i miss my late night activities !!!!! *sadz*

Read an article about the BIG SWITCH ! meaning, grad studied 1 thing, but found out that it ain't wad they want for their career and switched to other stuff. Haihhz... when will i be able to do that ?? Will i have that courage to plunge into something else ??? My interest.... MUSIC ! But please dun suggest to me teach piano or guitar -.-''' absolute NO WAY ! i've got no patience !!!! Saxaphone...been saying all these while htat i wanna learn but have never made the effort to do more enquire....shall see how it goes... Think the time should be spent going to cali !!!!!! CNY is a killer to my routine....EEAT EAT EAT everything also feel like eating !!! Gosh....

CNY gathering

Once again, the hostel gang meets up for a reunion dinner. In fact all of us working now... quite hard to meet up esp with the auditors. Never know when they OT and whether any cab wants to bring them from the outskirts of SG back to town. LOL
Met at city hall....walked all the way to some "zhu chao" eating place. Food still not too bad. But the yusheng was yucky... *blehhh* spoilt everything. Poor Wenjing had no dinner coz by the time she came down from Tuas, last order was already over. But we waited for her for yusheng... tt explains why it spoilt the whole dinner.

After dinner, it was still early... only 9 plus... so we walked along side and wanted to find a place to sit down and have a drink and chit chat. Loof only opened at 10pm... nobody wanted to wait, so off we went. We were soo undecisive... wasted a lot of time thinking where to go. End up with 2 choices drink or ktv. Smart ade said " Ktv also can drink wad" hahaha... so off we went to Boat Quay's party world. A room for 10 of us. No alcohol in the end. 1 beer muz exchange with 2 cups of drinks. So lugi....Dun know why.... but nowadays i dun know wad songs i wan to sing. Maybe coz the songs i like the others dun like ? I feel weird when i'm the only one singing canto songs. Only sang 2 songs when some of them haven arrived. Most of the time juz sitting around looking around drinking my mango blend until i had a nice shock of them choosing numerous fast tracks of Mi's songs for me. -.-''' End up skipping some coz so weird to sing alone. Alvin said that night he allowed me to choose Joey's song to sing....haha...he hates her.... but i didn't sing any in the end. Cantopop ktv anyone ???

Our gathering ended at abt 1.45am-2am... ade and i took cab back. Late night out... but i still enjoyed the company of the uni gang. ^.^

1st Department lunch...

The previous Christmas celebration as juz a mini-gathering in the office. Today, we had a CNY department lunch. Well, my department is small enough.... and 1 manager had to be on mc and the bride-to-be went on leave :s

It was held at a restaurant in Excelcier hotel. Just next to our office -.-''' It felt kinda awkard having lunch with the managers and our big boss (aka the tax principal). I sat next to my manager Sam and 1 of my usual lunch mates. So it wasn't that bad... thank god i didn't have to sit next to Albert. :S My other 3 lunch mates took their own sweet time to walk there...haha... so left with the worst seats. And 1 of the manager had to leave 2 seats btw her and Albert and another 1 seat away from another manager. How nice of her... So my poor 3 lunchie mates had to spilt. I pity the girl sitting btw both managers. She was exceptionally quiet and didn't look that comfy. The one who teased me yday abt putting me next to Albert, kena the seat next to him. lolx.. hahaha.... moral: dun be mean !!!

Usually our lunchies are full of conversations. But today it was quiet .... with some talking done by the managers and Albert and our occasionally few comments. It was my 1st time seeing our superiors in a relax mode and a chatty mode. Actually, after being Albert's so-called secretary for the last 5 days, i juz found that he wasn't that bad... but they told me coz i'm still very new so all of them still quite nice to me...hmm.. i hope it stays as it is though ....

I felt a lil bit tense throughout...haha...not used to having this kinda meals yet. lolx... Food wise... it was ok lor... the usual 捞鱼生 but taste not as good as the 1 in crystal jade, sakae and the home-made ones :p Had the so-called sharks fin but ingredients like not there.... chicken, fish, mushroom + veg, yam + scallop, noodles and desert. 8 course including the 鱼生。 I wonder how much it cost...anyway, it's a treat from the managers + Albert since they are the richest ppl in the office. Though i think i didn't eat that much... coz a bit paiseh in front of all the "big shots" ... but i was really full !!!

Today i also gave the job of secretary back to HL. hahaha... it wasn't a bad experience... though suffered from numerous paper cuts. Had to handle phone calls, do despatch to clients and CIT, be water-girl haha... collect faxes, open mails etc... HAd to handle the terrible billing which made me soooo stress. The worst of all was having to ransack Albert's room to find 2 pieces of paper ! Really 海底捞针 *faintz* Being resumed as a tax assistant today...lolx... i kinda forgot wad i usually did...hahaha... anyway had to clear the mountain of my own work accumulated for the past 5 days. I think it is good in a way that i was "rotated" to do something else. I kinda feel more refreshed. Work more efficiently. Maybe they should do it more often...hehe...

So tired.....

Chinese New Year holidays juz passed at a blink of the eye. I dun remember having a good rest at all. On the eve, there were lotsa last min stuff to get...reunion dinner, cleaning up, preparing for 1st day of CNY. 1st day, as usual guest early morning, then off for the boring lunch gathering, off to granny's house and then to grand-uncle's place den to my uncle's place. 2nd day, lunch at granny's place and then more guests over at our place and i became a "maid" and i even scalded my finger whilst taking out new year goodies from the oven -.- Busy busy busy day. 3rd day, ppl at our place again... -.- busy once again den off to watch geisha... and tt was about it... reach home, dinner, sat in front of the desktop for a while trying to figure some stuff for office and sleep. Next day ... WORK.
Best of all, my dept is sooo empty....my 2 managers on leave, our secretary on study leave and another colleague on leave. So i had to become secretary. -.-'''' haihhz...secretary's job is not easy also....got a few paper cuts from despatch =( My own work also nid to finish.... manz... juggling btw both wasn't very easy. But it did keep me away from falling asleep. I still have some timesheet prob. Arrghhz... hopefully can settle soon and that everything will become normal again.
Haihhz... feel soooo tiredddd.... today even more so after a workout at cali. I think i'm very unfit. I nid to go there more often ! MOTIVATION !!!!! CNY hols juz passed like this....how sad.... no more PH until like good friday... which is like OMG....FREAKING LONG !!!! how i dread it... i wish i could have a day at home doing nothing but sleep sleep sleep sleeeeeeppppppp