Ups and Downs

Pardon me if u dun understand my language... dun ask me wad it means either if u dun get it...
just not in a good mood and using this post as an avenue to release frustration.

Life is full of ups and downs... currently at my most DOWN time now for the week. E, PPG, LS... working well on PPG and LS. Maybe not tat well for PPG too.... out of 3, 2 are working... E for me is stressing the hell outta me. Other ppl are getting their E's. I am happy for them. It is worth celebration for i understand how difficult it is to even get 1 E. Happiness aside... yes i welcome challenges... but fear is getting all over me. Fear of the rejection, fear of losing that r/s. If it's to be, it's up to me ??? 100% possible all the time ??? My thinking caps are on again... it's the MM thingy ?? i dunch know. A thing is that i think the number of ppl around me are countable using my fingers and toes. Where am i with them ?? i dun wan them running away from me. Biggest rejection hit me. Kinda numb now... Keeping my mind occupied and not thinking abt it.

For a moment to ponder, i wonder what have i gotten myself into ?? Giving up is not an option although thoughts have hit me during this time. Perhaps i am still getting used to it. Not quite there yet. Notice i've been thinking so much that work is kinda getting affected. Something to look at... shall concentrate hard tmr...

So shagged... really so damn tired... how long will my body last ?!?!?!!?!??! It's not the number that i have to look at... but now... not even 1 is on the way. Damn it... WAKE UP MANZ !!!!